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I don't think I wanted to believe it.
[ oh.
this is a Feelings Thing.
he is no good at this Feelings Thing, shit. ]
this is a Feelings Thing.
he is no good at this Feelings Thing, shit. ]
[Try being someone who isn't supposed to be able to feel at all.]
What would you do if someone told you you're really someone else?
What would you do if someone told you you're really someone else?
What's wrong? maybe you're too close to the problem.
See why it's hard for m to figure out?
I think me being too close to it is the problem.
[He sighs]
I think I figured out something I should've known ages ago. Maybe I do know. It just doesn't make sense.
[He sighs]
I think I figured out something I should've known ages ago. Maybe I do know. It just doesn't make sense.
Wh—how does that even work? An amnesiac secret identity plot twist?
[ Sora feels perhaps foolishly gratified when Roxas doesn't snap his hand away or even withdraw it at all, smiling a bit brighter at his other before nodding to the question. Absently his legs kick back and forth a little, hanging off the edge of the carousel as they are the way they're sitting. ] Yeah not just dreams or seeing things. And [ His smile turns into a grin, thoughtful. ] definitely not the same, sort of...well, like two sides of a coin, I guess.
[ Again he's struck with the reality that even in his most truthful state he doesn't have especially satisfying answers for Roxas, but that one seems to hit home, resonate because of the way it roots down through both of them. Not the same, but part of one thing anyway, and that's...well, he wonders if it could be okay to Roxas, the way he is now, when he is from.
Judging by the fact that he's still here at all, well that's got to be a good sign, Sora hopes.
He'd thought, as Roxas rejoined with him, the smile he gave him before doing so had been that of a friend, and Sora had wondered if he smiled then if that was both of them in a sense too. ]
But does... [ He pauses, some misgiving creeping into his voice. ] ... does it, uh, bother you?
[ Again he's struck with the reality that even in his most truthful state he doesn't have especially satisfying answers for Roxas, but that one seems to hit home, resonate because of the way it roots down through both of them. Not the same, but part of one thing anyway, and that's...well, he wonders if it could be okay to Roxas, the way he is now, when he is from.
Judging by the fact that he's still here at all, well that's got to be a good sign, Sora hopes.
He'd thought, as Roxas rejoined with him, the smile he gave him before doing so had been that of a friend, and Sora had wondered if he smiled then if that was both of them in a sense too. ]
But does... [ He pauses, some misgiving creeping into his voice. ] ... does it, uh, bother you?
But if some of those two are lambs, and the other wolves, and you've set them together: how much do you have?
It's not.
[She sounds... way too insistent about that, weirdly enough.]
[She sounds... way too insistent about that, weirdly enough.]
Sometimes when I can't figure a problem out, I'll write about in a letter or a journal. It doesn't really matter. The act of putting it on paper allows you to examine it in a different way.
I don't know.
[ It's as honest as he can be. It isn't that this is overwhelming, exactly, although Roxas is pretty sure that it should be. It's more that it doesn't quite feel real yet, even though he's been approaching this truth for a while.
Who knows how he's supposed to react, though? Probably no one else has ever dealt with this before. ]
It's kind of hard to think of us as being the same.
[ And yet...it's not bad to think of that. Now that he's finally stopped resisting the idea of them being on the same side, he can admit that he likes Sora. There are worse people he could have come from. ]
I mean, it's not like you can read my mind or anything.
[ pause ] You can't, right?
[ It's as honest as he can be. It isn't that this is overwhelming, exactly, although Roxas is pretty sure that it should be. It's more that it doesn't quite feel real yet, even though he's been approaching this truth for a while.
Who knows how he's supposed to react, though? Probably no one else has ever dealt with this before. ]
It's kind of hard to think of us as being the same.
[ And yet...it's not bad to think of that. Now that he's finally stopped resisting the idea of them being on the same side, he can admit that he likes Sora. There are worse people he could have come from. ]
I mean, it's not like you can read my mind or anything.
[ pause ] You can't, right?
Edited 2011-08-25 00:58 (UTC)
Why are you asking me this stuff?
I'm not sure. I just think...no, I know...it's true.
I wrote in my diary a lot. I guess I don't have to, not like I used to. But I got in the habit.
Edited 2011-08-25 01:09 (UTC)
... so, what, you just found out that you had a past life you forgot about?
Not exactly, but that's probably the closest thing.
I know, I know, you said. But the way I see it, you're talking about the past. There's nothing stopping you from being you now, right?
[ There's an impulsive apology on the tip of Sora's tongue - feeling in that distinct way that he's mis-communicated maybe by saying 'same' except that when he stops himself to think about it again, he can't come up with another word for it. Just as well maybe, because the next thing Roxas says has him arching a brow - his mind catching up before he shakes his head with a smile. ] No. No mind reading.
I guess... [ He folds his hands in his lap, fingers lacing before he tugs both hands behind his head instead, peering up at the sky from a slant. ] ...if it did bother you, I couldn't blame you. [ I made you, he thinks but again can't be sorry about it as much as he guesses maybe he ought to be. ] It's not like...like you had a choice.
[ This time he looks over at Roxas, arms lowering to his sides again. ] I'm sorry.
I guess... [ He folds his hands in his lap, fingers lacing before he tugs both hands behind his head instead, peering up at the sky from a slant. ] ...if it did bother you, I couldn't blame you. [ I made you, he thinks but again can't be sorry about it as much as he guesses maybe he ought to be. ] It's not like...like you had a choice.
[ This time he looks over at Roxas, arms lowering to his sides again. ] I'm sorry.
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